Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Thoughts as we Get closer...

As the time is drawing closer...I have thought a lot about Shepherd's mother. How I hope that she feels deep in her soul that her child is safe, loved, and supported. I have reflected more lately because it is getting closer and I realize that in order for me to be gaining him someone had to lose him. I wish with all my heart that he would have a birth story and baby pictures and all the things that my children and most American children will have, but he will not and so we will create another story as a family, one rich in redemption and in love. One of my friends recently adopted 3 domestic boys adding to her own 3 boys (are you adding that up, it's 6 young boys!!! HOLY MOLY) she painted a beautiful picture of how much she loved him and wanted him... 
from her blog christina-jones.blogspot.com:
Your mom needed to find someone else to be your Mommy and I raised my hand and screamed "Pick me! Pick me!" because I wanted to be his Mommy so bad.  He always wants to know if other people were raising their hands too,  but I assure him that Daddy and I raised our hands so fast that nobody else had a chance to. :) 

I love how great Christina Jones described her becoming his mom! So as the travel approval gets closer I will continue to pray for a peace that passes all understanding for sweet Shepherd's biological mom. I will remember that in the rough days she wished she could be there and have the rough days with him. It will help me cherish my own children a little more! So here is the letter that is so beautifully written to a birth mom...I could not have said it better:

Taken from Nicole at livingouthislove.com
I posted this for our first Mother’s Day, two years ago.  This day is always filled with bittersweet celebration for us adoptive mamas, isn’t it?  Although I have more blessings than I can count, this year is even more bittersweet for me, as my arms ache to hold our precious boy.}
To her first mother:
You are one of the most important people in my life, and I have never met you.  You live somewhere halfway across the world, in a Chinese city.  You are our daughter’s first mother.  You carried her under your heart for a precious 9 months, gave birth to her, and then made a difficult decision.  And although you couldn’t raise her yourself, I know that you loved her in an unbelievable way because you selflessly chose LIFE.  You chose to make her a blessing to another mother, even though it was surely a devastating and unsettling decision to make.
I am that mother, and I want you to know that I think of you often.  I think about you when I rock her to sleep at night.  As I sing her favorite song to her, I cannot help but mourn your losses as a mother to her.  I look at her birth mark and her belly button, and am reminded of the short time she was able to spend with you.  When I look into her eyes, I wonder how much they look like yours and I regret that you can’t see the light in them.  When I see she has grown another inch, I wonder if her first father is tall.  When I see her smile and laugh, my heart hurts that you cannot see her happiness and beauty.  I’m sad that you haven’t been able to witness the graceful way she has handled every situation thrown at her.  I hurt for the experiences you have already missed, and all of the experiences in the future that you won’t be a part of.
As we celebrate Mother’s Day here in the U.S., I want you to be at peace.  I want you to know that our daughter is most definitely a blessing to me.  She is also an amazing blessing to her Daddy, her sister, her brother, and all of her family.  She is joyful and happy.  She rarely stops smiling and she lights up every room she walks into.  She is loving and affectionate.  She is strong and courageous.  She is so very graceful and brave.  She is smart and clever.  She is funny and silly and feisty.  She has a beautiful spirit and has completely stolen my heart.  She is so loved and has been well-cared for her whole life, including the year she spent with her foster family in Fuzhou.
When she is old enough to ask about you, I will tell her that you loved her.  Although I do not know the circumstances of her birth, I will tell her you made the best decision you could at the time.  I will tell her that neither one of us are less her mother than the other.  We are both equally mothers to her in different ways.  I will pray for you with her … for peace as her first mother, that you know our daughter is loved, healthy, happy, and well-cared for.  We will pray that you know God’s love as we do, and that if we do not meet each other in this life, that we will see each other in Heaven.
Many blessings and so much love,
Gosh it doesn't get any  better well written right?? In this life we will have struggles, but he has overcome the WORLD...

Love, Whitney
(I hope to blog more so I can remember the days and the years!)

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