Tuesday, September 24, 2013

A Blessed Journey

There are a few things I remember saying when Rusty and I first got married...I specifically remember saying that I wanted a big family, but any more than 4 kids was when it went from a cute little family to cargo van driving, home schooling, and mom clothes. Boy does God have a sense of humor. Now here I am documenting Rusty and I's journey to adoption and freedom from our own plan and doing our best to follow God's plan.

A couple of years ago I met Jen Coco who was on her way to get precious Molly from China.  I thought out loud at the time to Rusty as I lay on bedrest with Neeley, " I would do that", "I think that it is really awesome to be able to do that for a child"...I think if Rusty could have killed me with his eyes he did and he specifically said, "Yeah it's neat if you only have 2 or 3 kids." He also said "I am not against adoption, I am against 5 kids." That was the end of that discussion.

Throughout the next couple months to years we have met several other friends who have adopted and it grew to be something that I was more interested in and of course Rusty would have to listen. It was nothing more than a fun "what if".  But something started to change in my heart -  I thought about it a lot as though it was something that was a real possibility. But I had 4 children already and a husband who was not into it at ALL. So I did what everyone woman does, I nagged him to death about it! Rusty told me to stop and said that he would pray about it and see where it took him, AKA go away, stop talking about it, and maybe this crazy thing will go away.

We let it go and didn't talk about it for a few months. One day I sent Rusty a picture of a girl who was an orphan in the CPS system. He came home from work with a troubled heart and admitted that God too had placed something in his heart about orphans. He said that everywhere he looked and every scripture that he read was about our call to the orphans as Christians. He also said that the morning before when he was doing his quiet time that he prayed God would give him an answer. God had told him to read James because it was the lesson that we would be studying at church. He read James 1 and the last verse is, "Religion that God accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." Rusty said it was one of the times he felt like God was directly speaking to him.

For the next couple months we sought Scripture, prayer, and friends and family counsel. I remember something that Brenna Stull (coach mom/ how can you not LOVE her) said that really stuck with me.  "By adopting, you are demonstrating to your children that you believe EVERY word of the Bible and the call we have to take care of orphans." It was there that it hit Rusty and I that the most important thing in our lives is that our children love the Lord with all their hearts and be sold out, radical for God.  How can we turn our eyes to the millions of orphans that long for a mom and dad and TRUE love.

In the beginning the process was all about "saving a child" but now it is so much bigger for Rusty and I. We prayed long and hard about whether to stay domestic vs international. I have no real answer other than China felt right, required the least travel, and required Rusty and I to have BIG faith in our finances. I think that is the one of the biggest lessons for us...maybe one of the main reasons he has brought us here. We all try to be good stewards of our money...we certainly don't go spend $30,000ish dollars when we don't have it! I think for the first time I have let go of putting pressure, time lines, and expectations on God. Rusty and I truly understand what it means to trust God in our finances. Rusty calls it "sacrificial living"...we are trying!  He has called us here, he wants good for our family, and he will show us great and mighty things through this.

I think that the biggest thing that we have learned has been to realize the extreme love and sacrifice God has made for us from a real life prospective. We are already in love with this little boy and we don't even know him. Our whole family (even extended) is willing to leave/watch our kids while we travel to this foreign land, sacrifice money,and  help with us having 5 kids. It's absolutely crazy! God loves us so passionately that he took us in - so undeserving, so dirty, with our own special needs, with all the baggage...and loved us sooo unconditionally. He has adopted us as His own.  There is nothing special this boy is doing to earn our affections, he doesn't know us and we don't know him. Just like us and Christ. We can't make Him love us more. He even goes one step further to give us things he knows we love. Just like the moment that we find out who our boy is - Watch out orphanage for all the care packages. And don't think he won't have fun new clothes and shoes to wear when we get hold of him. Orphans and us are so much alike! God made the ultimate sacrifice for me...I think for the first time in my life through this adoption we are somewhat understanding of what this looks like in our life and the ultimate sacrifice that God made for us.

So when you see our crazy family, our "China boy" and our tired eyes, please know that the Cox family is on a journey! We don't know where God will lead us but we are loving being uncomfortable, being free, and learning about undeserving grace.


  1. We too have been down the blessed road of adoption.... And from China. Leslie was four when we "got her" and now she's 19 and in college. What a blessing this has been for us and we know it will be for you also. God is a providential God and will work out all the details. Praying for your family!


  2. Love reading this! Can I assume that if you are getting a boy from China that he will also have some kind of special need or physical ailment? The Chinese don't typically let their little boys be adopted out-of-country otherwise. We have friends who recently brought home a Chinese son with a cleft palate ... such a great story. Keep us updated on how your process continues... many blessings to all 6 of you!

  3. First of all, LOVE the blog name :)
    Second,..goosebumps! Love how God speaks to us and so happy that y'all listened. Can't wait to love on that sweet boy!

  4. Whitney and Rusty, what an exciting adventure for your family. I love this post. Your family has grown so much since I last saw you. Good luck to you guys! :)

  5. Thanks so much for openly sharing your story. We are keeping your family and possible future family members in our prayers.